~What Did I Do?~
I was gobsmacked. Len and I stared at each other with wide eyes. Only a few minutes seemed to pass, but the awkwardness between us seemed to make it last longer.
Eventually I said, "Sorry, I'll just be going now." I shut the door and stumbled across the landing into my bedroom. I locked my door and curled up in a ball. I sniffed and started to cry.
You're probably a bit confused at the moment. Ok, maybe I should rewind. The whole thing began the night before. I'd had a horrible nightmare. I can't quite remember what it was about. All I knew was that I was alone. All alone in darkness. I couldn't even see my own hands. Suddenly, there was a strange noise. It sounded like growling. I called out for help but no one heard. I was being consumed by the darkness and the gowlling. Then I woke up.
I turned and looked at my clock, which read 02:38. I was too scared to go back to sleep and wanted company so I decided to go to Len's room. Len wasn't exactly my sibling. We were both Vocaloids so we weren't born. We were made, but made together. That's why I'm closest to Len out of the whole Vocaloid house.
I crept into Len's room and stood by the side of his bed. I wasn't sure what to say and stayed silent. Len must have sensed someone in the room for he started stirring. After a moment he whispered, "Rin? Is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me," I replied.
"What are you doing here? Are you hurt? Did you have a bad dream?" He threw loads of questions at me.
"Nightmare," I sniffed. "Can I come in with you?"
He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then answered, "Sure." I smiled as he scooted over on his mattress to make room for me. I happily snuggled under the covers and he put his arm over me. I felt safe.
There wasn't much room because it was only a single bed and our bodies were awfully close. I felt my face heat up and thank goodness it was dark so Len couldn't see my flushed cheeks. It was true. I think I had a crush on Len.
I only began to realise it recently when I drew a picture the other day. I didn't know what to draw and just let my pencil glide along the paper to see what my mind would create. After a bit it started to look like Len and I. We were holding hands and singing. I coloured the picture and gave it to Len and was over the moon he liked it. He even put it up on his wall. Then I realised I loved Len, but there was NO WAY I was going to tell him.
We must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning to find Len's peacefully, sleeping face. It was literally about a centimetre away from mine. My gaze focused on his lips and I blushed. Resisting the urge to…well…you know… I carefully climbed out of his bed not wanting to wake him. Sighing, I went to get ready for school.
Like always, I walked up to school with Miku, Neru, Kaito and of course, Len. The other Vocaloids had either overslept or made it to school already. I thought option one was more likely.
Everyone was chatting away happily as we made our way through the gates, except Len. After even more minutes of silence from him I eagerly asked, "Len? Is there something wrong?" It was natural for me to worry about him, being how close we were.
"I'm alright, Rin. Don't worry about it," he said and for the first time that day he smiled at me. I could tell it was faked but decided to let it slip for the time being.
During class I kept glancing at Len without him knowing. I actually found it quite clever I hadn't got caught yet for he kept staring at me. Was my bow wonky or something? I didn't know. Finally the bell rang for lunch and we made our way to the cafeteria.
Usually Len sits by me but to everyone's surprise, he went and sat between Kaito and Neru. Trying not to show I was hurt by his actions, I ate my orange with a smile and happily chatted to Miku. But when I wasn't looking I could tell Miku, Neru and Kaito were giving me worried looks.
On the way home, Len was still ignoring me. I really wanted to know what was bothering him. My hand reached out and gently took his. But he snatched his hand away and started running towards the house.
"That's it," I sniffed, trying to blink away tears.
I felt something on my shoulder and turned to see Neru, who had put her arm round me. "Len's depressed about something at the moment," she said as if I didn't already know. "I think you better leave him be for the moment. He'll eventually come around." Hmm, maybe she was right.
"Being annoyed doesn't give him the excuse to upset Rin!" snapped Miku. She began shaking with anger.
"Whoa, whoa, easy Miku. Rin, can you think of anything that you might have done to upset him?" asked Kaito, trying to calm Miku down at the same time.
I thought back to last night. Oh no. Did I upset him by sleeping in his bed? He didn't seem mad then. Oh, but wait! He did have to think about it for a moment. Maybe he thought I needed to grow up already. Grow up and not be afraid of a stupid nightmare. Darn it.
"No," I lied. I didn't want them to know about last night's events.
"Well, we'll see what happens, k?" said Neru with a smile.
It was nearly time for bed and I shuddered recalling the nightmare I'd had. I really did hope it wouldn't come back and if it did, I wouldn't have Len to comfort me this time. Len…what did I do?
I started to get changed into my pyjamas. I was about to take my bow and clips out when I heard a strange noise. Leaving my hair as it was I poked my head out into the landing. Miku's bedroom was next door to mine and it wasn't coming from there. It was coming from opposite my room, which was… crap. It was Len's room.
I tip toed over and pressed my ear against the door. There were banging noises and I could hear Len quietly cursing. I was worried and was about to go in when I remembered Neru had told me to leave him alone. I began making my way back to my room when I stopped. I heard a sharp, ripping noise.
I panicked and ran back to his door. He hadn't locked it so I barged right in. I looked around the room to see things scattered everywhere. It was well known that when Len's angry he throws things but I'd never seen his room as bad as that. What had I done to make him so mad?!
My eyes finally landed on him. He was standing on the left of his room, stood up on a chair. I wondered why he was up there for a moment but then realised it was so he could reach up and get something. He had a piece of paper that had been torn in two in his hands and to my horror, I realised it was the picture I'd drawn for him.
I was gobsmacked. Len and I stared at each other with wide eyes. Only a few minutes seemed to pass but the awkwardness between us seemed to make it last longer. Eventually I said, "Sorry, I'll just be going now." I shut the door and stumbled across the landing into my bedroom.
So that's how I ended up here, on my bedroom floor, crying my eyes out. I'd ticked him off so much he'd destroyed the picture I'd drawn for him. It really, really hurt. I sobbed for a few more minutes until I heard a knock on the door.
"G-go away. I do-don't want to s-see you at-t the mo-m-ment," I stuttered in between sobs. Now we were both mad at each other.
"Rin, please!" he pleaded. "Just unlock the door! I can explain!"
"No. L-listen, whatever I-I did last ni-night to make y-you angry I'm sorry o-ok?" It went quiet then. I was about to open the door to check he'd left when he spoke again.
"You did nothing. I've been selfish and childish, ignoring you like that. It's my fault, Rin. I can't believe I ripped that picture. I'm a stupid idiot that doesn't deserve you!"
That last sentence shocked me. What did he mean by that? I slowly stood up and carefully unlocked the door. It instantly opened and it took me a moment to realise there were arms around me, Len's arms.
"What did you mean?" I asked in between sobs.
"What are you referring to?" he softly replied.
I pushed him away so I could see his face. "You said you didn't deserve me."
Len went slightly pink. "Right, I'm not going to lie to you, Rin. Last night when you came to me I realised something. I realised something that I've suspected for awhile but was to scared to admit it." He stopped.
"Go on," I encouraged.
He nodded. "I care for you Rin. Don't look at me confused! I know I've always cared for you but I mean... I care for you a lot more than I used to. Last night, having you in my arms told me something. It told me I loved you..."
I stared at him with wide eyes. So my feelings were returned? On the inside I was dancing with joy! I was so happy that I couldn't put it into words. However, on the outside I didn't know how to react. Should I say something? Hug him? I opened my mouth to speak but Len beat me to it.
"I'm sorry for this. Just…just forget I ever said anything," he muttered and looked down.
I couldn't control it anymore. I had to, just had to. I reached out and touched his chin, lifting it up. He looked rather surprised while I guessed I looked rather like a tomato. But I didn't let it stop me and slowly placed my lips on his. He pressed back and held me tightly as I deepened the kiss.
I was on cloud nine. The boy who I loved so much, was right there kissing me. I didn't want to, but I pulled away. I had to tell him too. I had to tell him how I felt.
"Len," I whispered, gasping for air. "I love you, a lot!" I giggled. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss. I smiled back into the kiss and giggled slightly. But I was still confused. Why had he been ignoring me?
After we pulled away again I asked, "But why were you avoiding me?"
He looked rather ashamed. "After I realised my feelings. I never would have thought you'd like me back in that way. And it hurt when you talked to me and looked at me. That's why I'm selfish. I ignored you so it wouldn't hurt me. I'm sorry, I'm so selfish..."
I kissed his cheek. "You're forgiven," I said as I hugged him. "And I can easily draw another picture for us."
That night I cuddled close to Len once more. I hadn't had a nightmare, I just wanted to. I loved hearing our heats beat together. When we woke up the following morning I stared at his lips again. This time, I did kiss him.